{taken moments after he was born...12.17.2010}
{taken 7.2.11...six months & some change}
there are SO many things and ideas i've wanted to blog about in the past SEVEN months...yup that's right. our little peanut just turned 7 months on sunday. there were little pockets of time i could have blogged in-between but didn't have the energy or mindset to do so...but i'm back!! the other part was...i had so many grand ideas i wanted to blog about but felt so very behind that it almost seemed pointless to start. thankfully today i am in a good place and jacob should be napping for the next few hours so i'm starting now.
being a new and first time mama conjures up so many different emotions both good and bad. i will be completely honest and say that it for sure isn't like the movies or tv shows that portray having a new baby fixes all things or brings a smile to your face EVERY single moment of your life - please don't get me wrong...i LOVE being jacob's mom and adore him to no end but it is TOUGH. scott and i faced and continue to face mountainous challenges...let me just put it out there - there were nights where i literally wanted to poke his eyes out and yell my little heart out. there were also moments when i wanted to just leave...
please note that these feelings were at its ugliest when we didn't get any sleep...and when i say we didn't get ANY sleep - i mean it...okay, we'd get MAYBE an hour and a half on good nights but man, when you do this for the first 2 months, it's brutal to say the least. however, at seven months...it is SO MUCH MORE FUN!! jacob is sleeping through the night for the most part and that means more sleep for scott and i which also means our marriage is getting stronger. i do have to say that scott has been THE most amazing partner through all of this...yes yes, i stated earlier that i wanted to "poke his eyes out" but scott has been and continues to amaze me. he has walked this daunting road of parenting by my side but more amazingly...in front - leading and pulling me at times. so scott...my love...jacob is blessed - not lucky - to have a dad like you. it shows in the way jacob's eyes lights up and gives you that winning all-gummy smile when you walk in the door. he adores you, as do i.
