my *sister*

scott and i were having a great saturday afternoon (august 14, 2010) just running errands together. at one of our last stops, i stayed in the car to call my cousin june to tell her about the cute swimsuit i found at target for our trip to hawaii at the end of the month...i could tell she was a bit distracted and then that's when the news pierced my heart: she told me she had colon cancer. i felt my breath getting sucked out of me and instead of being strong...i cried. sadly, she was having to console me, telling me everything was going to be okay...i couldn't control my tears. you have to know, i consider her and cindy my two sisters. we are cousins but we love each other as sisters would...

june went in for a colonoscopy a few weeks ago and the results came back as cancer. she just underwent surgery this past wednesday (august 18, 2010) and thankfully, it went very well. they removed the tumor, removed 8 inches of her right colon, corrected her hernia and removed her second dermoid cyst and had to remove her right ovary. thankfully, they didn't have to do a hysterectomy. she called me the next day to let me know she was done with the surgery...i loved hearing her voice. she's recovering right now and is expected to be released on monday...please pray for her as she continues on this journey.

this is also my *sister* who just had twins back in january. she is not even 40 and dealing with all these things. she is a strong person and admire her strength and determination to beat all of this...

{cindy, june & i}

* * *

the night before her surgery, i didn't realize at the time how stressed out and anxious i was for her. scott had left earlier that morning on a business trip to north carolina. usually when he is away i am excited for some alone time and to get things done around the house but i really didn't want him to go this time. that night, i couldn't fall asleep...i wrote in my journal, read scripture and when i finally fell asleep i awoke abruptly feeling as if i couldn't breathe and felt like i had a huge weight on my chest. i had to consciously take in deep breaths. poor scott, i called him in the middle of the night (east coast his time) because i started to get scared. he stayed on the phone with me and gently reassured me that everything was okay...i fell asleep for another few hours before i called dr. stewart's office. the on-call doctor told me to go to the emergency room right away. she said the difficulty in breathing is something they didn't see patients for...of course this freaked me out. sad to say, the first thought was "oh my goodness. the ER is so expensive!" when i called scott to tell him, he was ready to hop on the first flight back home...but i told him that i would wait to talk to dr. stewart. dr. stewart asked if i had anything going on in my life at the moment...so i explained about my worries about june...he said that it sounded like i had an anxiety/panic attack...he said if this occurred regularly that he would want to put me on a very low dose of anti-depressants (yikes!). however, if the difficulty in breathing continued i would have to go to the ER to make sure it wasn't anything else...

when i heard all of this...i felt like i had already failed as a mom. i wasn't taking care of myself to make sure our baby was safe...i was lucky enough to be able to hear our baby's heartbeat that day to relieve me of the stress of wondering if our baby was okay or not. hearing that precious heartbeat again gave me strength and i promised God that i would do everything i could to be strong for our baby...and june. that night...i slept so peacefully. thank you Jesus...

scott gets home tomorrow...YAYY!! i feel that God purposefully speaks to me when i am alone and uses this time to strengthen me. i've had to depend solely on Him and it has been a sweet reminder of His love for me...

17 weeks & going strong...

i'm about to hit the 18th week mark on saturday...ALMOST close to being halfway...before i forget this experience i wanted to jot down some of the changes and little miracles that have happened thus far:

~ weeks 6 through 15 were NOT fun. morning sickness - YOU SUCKED.

~ weeks 16 and counting...it has been amazing. it's a miracle in itself how quickly you forget about the morning sickness {haven't forgotten yet...but the memory IS fading}

~ my skin has changed from a glow to break outs...eeek!!

~ this morning at around 2am {thursday, august 12, 2010} i felt the kick/nudge/punch from our baby. many mom's/mom's to be have tried to explain the feeling. i'd say it feels like little gas bubbles and the kick felt like an underwater movement...argh. so hard to explain but nothing short of priceless!!

~ had a few scares along the way but no biggie. had a bit of spotting during week 7 and then slept on my belly this morning.

~ leg cramps or growing pains...OUCH. these have been keeping me up throughout the night...i can't remember the last time i slept well...but again, worth it. dr. stewart says to take more magnesium, calcium and to eat a banana every other day - i'm on it.

~ going on 4 months of not eating chicken. actually, that's a lie. i gave orange chicken a good effort a few weeks ago but almost threw up at the table.

~ i've had several dreams that we're having a little boy...everyone else has dreamt that we're having a little girl. my best friend dreamt i had triplets...PLEASE DON'T HAVE THOSE ANYMORE.

{17 weeks to the day...august. 7. 2010}

8 - 8 - 10

mark & mai tied the knot!! the whole wang clan headed down to sunny san diego to celebrate mark and mai's wedding...we left wednesday night and the festivities started thursday. scott planned an ALL DAY event for mark's bachelor party so he literally was gone from 7am to 1:30am the following day...i don't have any pictures from it but i'm sure there will be posts on fb somewhere. that evening we joined mom and dad to represent the wang family when meeting mai's parents and sister. it was a GREAT dinner and jill and i had some good laughs just enjoying all the things that come with meeting in-laws for the first time and enjoyed the cultural differences each family brought to the table. mai's family is so sweet and loved getting to know them throughout the weekend.

{mai's family & mom & dad}

{friday, we had the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner. mark took charge and did a great job!}

{this one of justin's face cracks me up} saturday, mark and mai set aside the evening to celebrate our sister's birthday at the hash house a go go. this place uses {i kid you not} serving platters for their dishes. if you ever go, no matter how hungry...share a plate! needless to say, we had a fabulous time with family and close friends celebrating jilly's 28th birthday!!

then came the big day!! here are some pictures that were taken either by me or someone else...mai wore a traditional japanese kimono for the ceremony and then changed into her wedding dress. it was one of the sweetest and genuine weddings i've ever been to...congrats to mark and mai!! we love you both so much...

{the three wang boys...love 'em all!}

{mai in a traditional kimono...took her almost an hour and half to get into this! she was beautiful...}

{sisters...and the third to be official very soon!!}

{mr & mrs lai...they are quite the dashing couple!}

{jessica & craig...so cute! they were also referred to as the "tall" couple...}

{not the greatest picture but the wang/kawaguchi family all together}

{mr & mrs mark wang!!} {had to end this blog with this picture...sorry hunn!! but here's my main squeeze busting a move!!}

name claim??

oh boy. a name holds huge significance. i can't and won't get into it but it does. so when it comes to finding a name for your own kid, it's a pretty big deal...

i have a close friend of mine who knew someone that claimed ten names for each gender {she wasn't even pregnant!}. not sure if it was stated but it was known that if anyone "stole" one of her names, she'd be pretty upset...i find this funny

if you think about it...there are SO many people with your name. not to lessen the importance of anyone's name, but that's just what it is. in different cultures i can bet it is the same...i guess in my mind, i'm not going to sacrifice a name that i love because someone else has "claimed" it. i love it when people choose family names to pass on...but again, it wouldn't be uncommon for someone else to have that name. for example, a co-worker of mine just had her baby boy (congrats tiana & baby andrew!!) and scott and i thought about that name andrew because of his grandpa. see what i mean?

anyways scott and i have a few names picked out but any suggestions that you'd be willing to share? my yl girls did an amazing job giving their favorites...keep 'em coming!!

15 and some change

i just got back from seeing dr. stewart. i heard the heartbeat and it's such a funny little sound...so precious in my ears and will be for everyone else that has/will go through this little miracle of their own...dad wang couldn't make it today because he's working so hard for our family, but i know he was thinking of us during the appointment.
i'm on day 4 of feeling good!! i'm on day i don't even know anymore of sleeping like poo these days. at summer school last week, a former parent of mine said "OH MY GOODNESS...you look EXHAUSTED." which REALLY means YOU LOOK LIKE CRAP. but again, as long as this little rascal is growing strong and healthy - i'm game.
it's been a busy july - i'm on my last week of teaching summer school, helped and furnished my brother's new place and threw my best friend her baby shower with the help of the "ten-ers"...now we're gearing up to head down to san diego to celebrate mark and mai on their wedding day...

ta-da!!

(7/1/2010) baby wang went from the size of a grain a rice to having a full on profile!! i have to say, it was one of the most breathtaking experiences and also, the most surreal. i teared up a little at what a miracle God truly makes this experience but then, in a very strange way - i felt so detached. i don't know how to quite explain but it was like i was looking at this baby but couldn't connect and feel that this was all happening inside of me {not yet at least}! scott was so precious...he held my hand and stood up so he could be close to the screen that was showing us all the movements and was helping me figure out just what the heck we were looking at {because often, i didn't have a clue if it was the arm, leg or face}.

(7/3/2010) just this morning i came up our stairs to use the computer and passing the soon to be baby room made me smile from ear to ear! i can't wait to meet the little peanut in about 6 months!!

ps...we find out the gender august 30, 2010!!

{ultrasound done at about 7 1/2 weeks...see, a grain of rice!!}

{ultrasound done at about 12 weeks...head profile, body and little legs curled up}

nervous & excited

today we have an ultrasound. this is the first since seven weeks so we're pretty excited...i was just talking to somebody yesterday about how BIG the baby is at this point...they are about a month ahead of us so at their 12 week(ish) appointment they saw fingers and feet...so amazing!! i sure hope to see our little peanut's fingers and toes today!! we also might find out our due date may change depending on how big baby is...however, if we're still on track with what i think we are, our baby is the size of a large lime...